Tamifah's Titillating ACME Presidential Diary!!!

Here is my acme Presidential Diary! Completed! FOR YOUR REVIEW!!!

WHY I SUPPORTING SAM BROWNBACK!!!

   Dear _*terrorist sympathizers and enablers*___________ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PICK ONE: a)Kossacks, b)former friends, c)idiots, d) enemies of the state (editor's note: All of these choices are bullshit so I'm making my own, per Dick Cheney.

   This is my PICK ONE: a) first diary (today)

   Over the last month, I’ve watched with PICK ONE: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (editor's note, again, going my own way on this) a) bated breath; b) disgusted fascination; c) abject horror a curious tingling erotic sensation as _Senator Brownback____________ (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to here) formed his/her Presidential exploratory committee.

   I’ve been PICK ONE: a) sent screaming into the streets; b) overcome by the vapors; or c) washed in wave after wave of full body nausea as I’ve watched you all PICK ONE: a) declare your undying supportdisdain; b) announce your new position as a paid member of _____’s (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to here) campaign staff; or c) begun yet another .07 Kos fundraising effort on his/her behalf.

   Every night this month, I’ve laid awake nights wondering PICK ONE: how anyone with any a) self respect; b) intelligence; c) love of the Motherland doesn’t know what a PICK ONE: a) shockingly bad choice; b) foe to democracy; or c) goat romancer ___Sam Brownback____________ (insert name of candidate you’re opposed supporting here) really is.

   Even the most PICK ONE: a) cursory Web search b) generous reading of his/her track record to date; c) glowing interviews about _Same Brownback________________ (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to supporting here) make it clear that _Sam Brownback_________ (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to here) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (editor's note: going my own way again as these choises suck) a) is ill-equipped to serve as President; b) would be the political equivalent of the South Asian tsunami; or c) can’t find his/her ass with both hands and a roadmap. d) the perfect goat gigolo for the job.

   When you add his/her purported history of PICK ONE: a) drug experimentation and/or practice of the law; b) longtime residence in Arkansas and/or attendance at an Indonesian madrass; or c) propensity to flirt with farm animals  XXXXXXXXXXXXXX editor's note: finally a choice that makes sense in this thing) , and you can see that _Sam Brownback_________ (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to supporting here) is, quite simply, PICK ONE: a) unacceptable; b) unelectable; or c) must have a pork chop tied around his/her neck so that his dog goat will play with him.

   Given _Sam Brownback___________’s (insert name of candidate you’re opposed to supporting here) PICK ONE: a) race, b) gender, c) profession, d) fashion sense, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Editor's note: going my own way again) e) goat propensity, it’s clear that it would be impossible quite possible to PICK ONE: a) balance the ticket sufficiently to take necessary Red States; b) raise enough dough to match anticipated Republican spending on McCain, or c) get taken seriously ***ANSWER IS BOTH A AND C IF THAT ISNT OBVIOUS ENOUGH***** by the CIRCLE ONE: bigots/racists/White Folk in the dirty, dirty South. ***** AGAIN ANSWER IS ALL OF THE ABOVE

   If you haven’t already PICK ONE: a) joined me in my conclusion; b) written a letter begging __________ (insert candidate you’re opposed to here) not to run; or c) recommended this diary,  *(A AND C AGAIN)* it’s clear that you might as well PICK ONE: a) go ahead and register as a Republican b) leave Kos now for the shores of Red State; or c) liquidate your assets and emigrate to Venezuela.

   I know many of you will ALL OF THE A B C: a) call me a Troll; b) label me a moron; or c) call me an arrogant motherfucker because of this diary. I know, too, though, that I’ve been blessed with PICK ONE: a) the kind of far-sighted geopolitical insight that comes but once in a generation; b) a David Lee Roth-like, ill-fated hubris; or c) blissful lack of awareness of and sensitivity toward those around me, so your opinion really doesn't matter to me. (Call me?!)

   If you don’t share my low prophetic opinion of __Sam Brownback_________ (insert the candidate you’re opposed to supporting here) and/or, conversely, my high opinion of my own political analysis, you can PICK ONE: a) troll rate my tip jar; b) consider yourself removed from my holiday card list; or c) go fuck yourself. and d) go on a hunting trip with my boss Dick Cheney

   Talk amongst yourselves.